I was moved by a blog by an incredible conservative gay man (here's his blog link http://realitymuggedme.blogspot.com/2007/06/my-gay-pride.html ) and decided to write my own thoughts on gay pride.
I agree with everything this guy had to say as I have thought those very same thoughts. What does it mean to have gay pride? How can I be proud of something I had no control over. I'm proud of my academic accomplishments to date. I've won awards in debate, science and a letter in track. All of those things took hard work and I AM proud of those accomplishments. But I AM gay, it is nothing that I achieved. I didn't set out to be attracted to males. I never understood being proud of ones heritage either. It's not like I had a choice that my mom was of polish decent and my Dad a product of Israel and Italy. I mean other than the fact that I tan easily and don't have a lot of body hair, that's kind of nice, especially at the beach in the summer. :)
The other thing that bothers me that the above blogger didn't mention is the confusing messages that the actions he describes are causing those that are looking at the gay community. Let me explain. On one hand, the gay community is trying for acceptance by the heterosexual world. They want to have legal parity in marriage/civil unions. They want to have equal rights in the work place and to not be discriminated against. They try to show that being gay is no different than being straight except in the bedroom. But as soon as the gay community gets a voice or their 15 minutes, a.k.a. the pride parades, what happens? They showcase the very stereotypical activity that they say they want to downplay. People who normally wear normal clothing strip down to nothing but a thong. People who normally wear gender-accurate clothing suddenly cross dress. So instead of using their attention and their 15 minutes to show the world that they are like everyone else except for their attraction to the same sex, they reinforce the hetero-worlds opinion that they are nothing by leather clad, scantly clad, cross dressing freaks that want to downgrade the level of class and sophistication rather than uphold it.
In my opinion a proper pride parade would feature members of the gay community dressed as they are everyday. They would wear what they wear everyday when they go to work or school. THIS would show the hetero-community that they truly ARE like everyone else with the exception of their choice of partners. This might actually get the message across rather than just making it fodder for the extreme right wing activists.
About Me
- JAndrews
- I'm Justin. I just completed my freshman year in college. My major is political science and politics. I'm a classical liberal and also a gay man. (Yes there are a few of us around.) I have a wonderful family that is very supportive and I feel I am the luckiest kid in the world. Like all college freshman, I want to make a difference in the world. I just hope I really can do it.
4 comments:
Maybe the choice of words is bad but it is an important event for people that have been treated at best like they were invisible and at worst like that were monsters. Perhaps pride in living the life one is meant to live is the way to look at it. I agree one does not choose to be gay, but unfortunately as long as people in society think otherwise and try to suppress us "gay pride" will continue to be necessary (and fun!).
As for people going to the parade in dresses and leather, well they would go to their jobs like that if they were allowed to. Why do we see these people in the media coverage? That is because the media wants to titillate and entertain the general public. In Toronto's gay pride 90-95% of the crowd was not in leather or in a dress but the next day every newspaper had someone in drag on the front! Oh well.
Hi Justin. I hope you're having a great time in school. I want to apologize for my lengthy response, but I think you're an intelligent guy with some good thins to say. I want to comment on your writing about gay pride. I hear where you're coming from, but I think you're missing the point about what it means to have pride in one's unchosen identity. You mention that you have pride in your accomplishments, but you don't understand what it means to have pride in, say, one's heritage. I think you're missing something. When, for example, a person of color expresses pride in her heritage, she does so because, historically in this country, her status as a person of color has been considered a negative thing. Because her color is considered negative, she doesn't really have a choice to feel neutral about it. If she chooses to express neutrality about her heritage, then she does nothing to counteract the negativity with which she is unfairly faced. The only way she can get to the point where her color is considered neutral is if she actively valorizes it, and focuses on the positive aspects of her heritage. Sure, she may, left on her own, not care one way or the other about her heritage, but she lives in a world with other people. And some of those other people treat her poorly because of their problems with her heritage. To complicate an old cliche, you can fight fire with fire, but using water is probably a better idea. Expressing pride in one's unchosen identity is like fighting fire with water. If your status as a gay person is seen as negative, then you have to treat it as a positive in order to get to the point where it can be considered neutral.
Perhaps it is a good sign that you don't see why people need to be proud of their gay identity. Maybe your queer status hasn't been treated like a negative thing in your life. If this has been the case for you, it is probably because of all the flaming queers out there who have been on the front lines fighting for equal treatment for all of us. Remember that it wasn't all that awful long ago that simply being sexually active as a gay man was illegal in this country (I believe until 2003 in some states).
I also think that you've misunderstood the goals of gay pride. You say that part of fighting for equality (a fight that is necessary because of unfair treatment of queers simply because their queerness is seen as negative) involves showing the non-queer world that we are just like them. I don't really think that's been the point at all. I think the point has been to show that, despite our differences, we deserve fair treatment. It has never been about erasing difference. It has been about embracing the full diversity of the human experience (at least in terms of sexuality. The gay rights movement has been notoriously bad in addressing issues of race/ethnicity, class, immigrant status, sexism between gay men and lesbians, and, well, anything other than being queer). The problem is that the methods you propose (being like straight people) are easy. It is easy to ask for fair treatment when you identify yourself as like your oppressor. It is much harder to ask for justice while asserting your difference, but that is exactly the battle that must be fought. Let's face it, we're all different from one another. We'll always be different. And as long as we allow difference to justify mistreatment of anyone, we fail to embody the principles of equailty and justice that we as a society claim to be about. So I guess my point is that on a personal level, I agree that the displays of sexuality that accompany gay pride don't really reflect my experience, but I would also say that we need those displays. Little by little, they have the effect of teaching all of us--gay, straight, or otherwise--that we're all different from one another, but we all deserve to be treated well. Personally, when I go to pride and I see church choirs singing to men and boys in drag, and I see little old ladies talking to queer young women dressed in leather and lace, I realize that people actually do have the ability to look through their differences and see humanity.
Sorry again for writing so much. I hope you find the time to read through all this and let me know what you think. Take care!
I can't agree with you any better than what you said.Most of them definitely make the stereotype even stronger by doing that.It will be going nowhere if that raunchy attitudes won't stop.
Btw nice blog^^
Keep up the good work.
Post a Comment